PLAN YOUR LIFE – ELIMINATE AND/OR MINIMISE STRESS

Greg Dalton, Life & Career Coach.

No point being an accountant, just because you’d be good at it!

Do you wake up every morning, particularly now as the winter is approaching, enthusiastic to get on with your day, get into work and perform your role to the best of your ability? Are you living the life you always thought you'd live? With hindsight, given the opportunity to do it all over again, is this the life you'd choose for yourself? What would you do differently?

To quote Mr Mark Twain…“20 years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do…than by the things that you did do”

Do you do the things everyday that you are not only skilled at but interested in doing also? For example: If you are skilled at numbers or figures everyone would suggest that you’d make a good accountant, yes you might make a good accountant in terms of getting the work done efficiently, but how interested are you in doing the job 9 to 5 everyday.

If we are not doing what we are interested in we become bored. Having said that, boredom is a choice, people actually choose to be bored. By choosing to remain somewhere that we don’t want to be, is our own fault.

Being bored can and often does cause stress. What areas of your life are causing you stress? Stress is more often than not caused by ourselves, by allowing ourselves to do or accept something that causes stress in our lives.

Do a reality check on your life and your career.

Do you feel like you're supposed to have your life and career all planned out by now? What do you want to be or from your life or career?

Firstly, start with a little self – assessment.

Decide what it is you really want from your career and life. (Use the visualisation exercise I gave you in last months issue) Step out of the ‘rat-race’ commonly known as ‘life’. Now ask yourself is this what I really wanted, is this how I want it to be? If you could do anything, if money was no object, what would that be? If you're good at a job you hate, imagine how good you'll be at one you love.

Now make a Decision, it is your choice. Make the decision that you are going to change and remove the stress from you life once and for all. Start to research the career or passion you’ve been thinking about for so long. Get the qualification you’ve wanted, or start the business that’s been in the back of your mind for so long.

What’s the plan? Break it down into small manageable steps. Ignore the analytical side of your brain which is stopping you. You’ve made changes before, maybe because of necessity or because of desire, but you have made changes. Start with the big picture of the plan completed, then work it backwards again. (email me if you’re stuck)

Take that first step, make your plan, do it now, procrastination is your ENEMY! List 5 things you could do tomorrow that will start you on your way to your dream. Turn your dream into a goal.

Join a networking group, consider hiring a professional to help you with the things you’re not an expert at. Do you need a partner? Do you need a coach to help you get started and support you along the way?

Persist! Don’t give up, get focused on what you want and stay focused.

Identifying what the stresses are:

How often do you feel or behave in the following ways?

If some or most of your answers are ticked in the OFTEN or SOMETIMES boxes, you are suffering from stress!

The first step in getting to grips with your stress is to know what is causing it. If you have ticked the Often or Sometimes box in any of the above table, ask yourself WHY? Why do you feel like this, what’s causing you to feel or behave this way?

The answer, I’m afraid to say is YOU, yes; you create these feelings or behaviours yourself. You do it by allowing other situations, events or people to control your decisions.

It’s up to you to change these feelings; you CAN move those ticks from the left columns to the right columns. How?

Think about it, what’s in it for you?

Think about your ideals and write down the things that really matter to you. Prioritise them, what is most important? Spending time with family? Wealth? Power? Possessions? Learning? Adventure and travel? Fitness & health? Socialising with friends? Contributing to the community? Helping out down the club? Pleasing others? You can't do them all. Cut out activities that aren't consistent with your beliefs and values.

Write a list of goals you'd like to achieve. Focus on doing a few really well, rather than a lot in an average way. You can't add hours to the day, but you can cut down on non-productive activities. You decide which are which.

Say NO instead of yes. People agree to requests from others because they like to please them. Instead, realise that you have a right to say NO. Creating plans makes saying no easier. And don’t apologise for saying no, I’m unable to do that today, as opposed to I can’t, or I’m sorry but…!

Stop being a slave to ‘E’ tools. Do you really need an office phone, a home phone, a mobile phone, pager, fax, e-mail and internet technology? Loose one or more of them. Switch your mobile phone off after 5pm. If people need to contact you and they’re important to you they’ll have your home phone. Don’t bring your mobile out socially.

Delegate! Give tasks to others who can handle your non-priority activities.

Stop spending time to save money. Instead, spend money to save time. Don't drive across town to save a few pennies on a grocery item. It's not worth your time. Time is your most valuable commodity, yet so many of us waste so much of it. Do hire someone to do chores you're not fond of and keep putting off.

Cancel subscriptions to magazines you never get around to reading. Only read one newspaper per day, they all give the same news anyway.

Cut back on television time. Only watch those shows you decide on beforehand. Circle them in the television pages or magazine. Then turn off the television when the programme is over. Cancel extra television packages for channels you rarely watch. Go for broke... give up watching television altogether, what would you really miss?

Clean out your attic or your office. If you're not using something, get rid of it. Put a date on items, when you can't decide to keep them or not. If you haven’t used them by that date, get rid of them. You haven’t missed so far, so what makes you think you’ll miss them if there not there???

Quit organisations that aren't contributing to you, your advancement or your enjoyment.

Automate repetitive, clerical, mechanical tasks. For instance, set up automatic bill payments, email deletions etc. Include your automatic savings plan as part of your monthly spending.

Make a plan for the weekend that doesn't involve work. Plan to spend more time with your family or with people who make positive contributions to your life. Stop spending time with people who are a drain on your energy or life.

Carry a smaller wallet or purse. Start by cleaning out the one you've got. Get rid of unnecessary credit cards, receipts and other clutter that you don't use regularly.

Stop checking up on your financial portfolio every day. Most people invest for the long term. Checking your results daily adds to stress and might lead to expensive and unnecessary changes.

Make time for yourself. Set aside time each day to reflect quietly, go for a walk, plan for your future or the next day. Visit the park or go for a walk instead of going to the shopping centre. You’ll find you will sleep better.

Cut back on debt. Consolidate your different debts into one and pay it off. Put your credit cards in a spot where you won't be able to use them until you're debt-free or get rid of them, most places accept laser now. Track your expenses and spending for a month, then cut back your spending on items you don't need. For example, bring lunch rather than buying one at work.

Consider renting a holiday home rather than buying. You won't be burdened by time and money spent in maintenance. Also, this allows you to visit a different spot each year.

Plan time for a holiday every year. Some people claim "I haven't had a holiday for years" as if it was something to be proud of. It’s not!

Cut back on your children's planned activities. If they have to use a time planner to schedule their activities, and you spend all of your time taxiing them around, they're probably too busy, and therefore so are you. But don’t let them get bored, keep them occupied creatively by doing things around the house together.

Ok, you don't have to make your 10-year plan today. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't start discovering what you're passionate about.

So what can you be doing now or next?

Here are a couple of brief and quick exercises to get started:

Write down 10 qualities that you have. How would you describe yourself? Are you popular, friendly, creative, a perfectionist, spontaneous, impatient, and/or sometimes foolish? Test your list, ask your friends and family how accurate your list is. How would they describe you? Would they recognise you from your description?

List five of your strengths and five of your weaknesses.

It's probably obvious how your strengths can be used, look for careers that tap into them. But your weaknesses (we all have them) are important, too. They are the things you need to improve or work on in order to reach a goal?

Take Back Control

If you really want to take control of your own life, design it. Design the life you’re passionate about. You have the courage and the capability, use it to your advantage to make the changes that will give you the life you have always dreamed about. The life you’d not only enjoy but be good at and most importantly interested in developing further.

If you are having any difficulty with any of the above or indeed any other area of your life, contact me at http://www.q1etc.com/.

Most importantly, keep focused on YOU.